No More Crazy Eight

My blog was originally titled Crazy Eight. My sister named it for me back when I made my first fluttering attempts at blogging.  I couldn't start a blog until I had a title and I couldn't come up with a title and would still be agonizing over it now if she hadn't set the whole thing up for me. The title was a great fit for several years but shortly after one of my crazy eight married the name no longer fit. I adore my son-in-law and consider him one of my own thus we were no longer "crazy eight" but what?  Fine nine? Getting crazier nine? Nine and counting? I don't know. Suffice it to say, it was time for a name change. I also got so far behind in my blogging that I felt both overwhelmed and uninspired so I stopped blogging all together because that is what I do under duress but I have missed it, blogging. So now I am back. It took me a while to decide what template to change to and what to rename my blog. I have agonized over it. Donatella finally came to me just as I was falling asleep last night. I am going to try it out for awhile and see if it works for me.

I googled it to make sure that it didn't mean anything weird. It doesn't mean anything weird. (Unless you consider Donatella Versace to be a weird person which based on the images that came up during my google search that is entirely possible but I don't really know anything about her except that she is intensely fashionable and since it wouldn't hurt me one bit to be more fashionable I am not going to let that deter me from selecting Donatella as the new title for my blog. But please bear in mind my blog is not meant to be named after her.)

Donatella was also the name of a flavor of gelato (Nutella was the basis of the flavor--I know, how can that be a bad thing?) at this great place, now defunct, called Maestro's which had the best Gelato on this side of the Mediterranean.

Donatella is actually quite versatile. It could mean, "Dona tell a.....story, experience, thought, poem, etc. Or it could mean, if you say it with an Italian accent "Do (as in dough) na (as in not) tella which translated could be, "Don't tell." Fun huh?

Donatella actually means "beautiful gift" in Italian. Perfect! Right? I shall endeavor to make my blog a beautiful gift.

Arizona

These are pictures from my trip to Arizona in May.

I am itching to go again.

I do love a good road trip.

I want to take my children on a vacation.

I want them to travel the road that I traveled so many times.

I want them to love Arizona like I love Arizona.

Which they can't do unless I take them there and tell them things.

Grandpa could give them his infamous tour.

He is a native afterall.

My children are native to Utah--so far.

Who knows where they will land?

Parachutes, Weddings, Collisions, OH MY!

Not only have I really wanted to post lately, I feel like I need to post. So here I am. Want to know what pushed me back over the edge into blogland? Well, several things.

1. My niece jumped out of an airplane. That inspired me. In my head I actually thought, "If Nicole can fly, so can I! But not with a parachute, with a pen." (Well, not a pen, but a laptop.) http://poppinsko.blogspot.com/ Yes, she's crazy. In a good way.

2. I was studying late, at the library. While I was studying, I was eating almonds and chocolate. Eating almonds and chocolate made me think of my Aunt Myrna. I am just sorry for all of you Aunt Myrnaless people bumbling your way through lives devoid of knowing one of the most joyful, loving, giving, jolly people. There may be somewhere, someone equally as pleasant and jocular but there is no one, anywhere more so than she. While I was thinking of Aunt Myrna another actual, clear thought came into my head, "I need to blog about Aunt Myrna." Aunt Myrna is a phenomenal person in her own right but she just happened to give birth to one of my other favorite persons, my cousin, Carla, who could do no wrong. I was going to grow up to be just like her. I could go on and on--more blog topics for other days.

3. Then there was that fabulous event in July where Samantha and Brandon were officially and marvelously married. The hitching went off without a hitch. Seriously, not even a hiccup. Well, okay there were a few hiccups on the otherwise most perfect day ever.
All of this portion must be read in a very fast, very low mumbly voice like the people on the end of the commercials that are rattling off the disclaimers about all of the possible ways you can die if you use their product
I temporarily lost my cell phone at a critical juncture in the day, my dad wasn't able to come, I weigh about 1000 pounds, my youngest children will behave shockingly like children and look disgruntled in the one and only family picture I have had in about 5 years. (I would have thought they would be overjoyed to finally be in a family picture where they are visible, not still in my womb--preconception.) 
The days events were brilliantly and beautifully photographed by Jennifer Grigg, yes, THE Jennifer Grigg, and should be where they can be seen by all so I have been thinking, "I need to post some photos on my blog." Of course, I have actually been thinking that since May when the engagement photos were taken.
4. I am back in school and it is moving much like a bullet train--very fast. "What's that up there on the track? Dang, it looks like an oncoming train! Yep, sure enough". That oncoming train would be my job. Unfortunately both trains are packed with members of my family, close friends, any semblance of spirituality I once may have almost thought I had, homemaking skills, gardening, tennis playing, summer hours spent with my children at the swimming pool. (I taught all of my children how to swim except for Jeremiah and Corban who, I am afraid, secretly doubt that I know how to swim. Or maybe they think that I'll melt, like the Wicked Witch of the West. [Could happen.]  Scott has taught them. [to swim, not that I'll melt. I didn't catch that until I reread it just now--very funny. punctuation does matter. Not that anyone could tell that I understand that based upon my incredible overuse of parenthesis.] He has done an amazing job but "WAIT! That used to be my job. Didn't it? Wasn't it?" It was until I got on that blasted train.)
So, back to the two trains that are on a collision course with eachother, I am thinking that blogging will be a good buffer, stress reducer, a type of therapy if you will. I am hoping that it will act as a lever to switch one of the trains on to another track sort of like that horrible movie they showed in Seminary. The one about the dad who was a switch operator for a railroad and his son comes running on the track to tell him to come home. The dad has to choose between the train full of people or his son.--In the case of my impending trains colliding however, there isn't a person on the track there is just the other train. Hopefully my magical blog/lever/switch will put one of the two trains smoothly on to another track and they will both just travel safely until they arrive at their respective destinations.)

6. My loyal friends and family who would occassionally, very nicely ask me if I was thinking of maybe blogging again,ever, can be given much credit, or discredit, depending on your perspective, for my return to blogdom.

7. The most awesome, brilliant and inspiring bit of advertising that I have seen since the good old Dr. Pepper commercials. Check it out, if you haven't already on the incredible singing devil's blog. http://unwillingcougar.blogspot.com/. I watch it several times a day because it makes me happy and because it's in a library which is where I spend all of my time these days. This particular library is where I used to spend a lot of my time many, many moons ago. Brilliant.
I might go watch it again right now.

Those are just some of the reasons I have returned to the land o' the blogs. So here I am again! We'll just see how it goes.

Identity Crisis, sort of

Sometimes, lately, I find myself thinking to myself, "This is not who I am supposed to be." Hmm. What does that mean exactly? I am not entirely sure. This recurring phrase pops into my brain at the most random and sometimes unexpected times. Like, today, for example. I was driving home from some serious errand running. I turned onto my street, that I love. The day was beautiful, everything looked fantastic, super-imposed, brilliant colors, early dusk (one of my favorite times of the day). Boom. There it was. That thought. What does it mean exactly? I don't get it.

I've had the thought while at the grocery store, at church, at home, in my room, on a walk, there is no rhyme or reason to when the thought will present itself. It just does. It is extra weird because I think that I am essentially happy with my life. Very strange. I will continue to ponder this cryptic message to myself from myself.

Johnathon

Here's the latest on the Johnathon front. He comes home on June 1st. The countdown has begun!

Hello,
I had a good birthday. We went to my ward misson leader's house because it was also his wife's b-day so that was fun. We have someone scheduled for baptism on June 5. Tell bishop Skinner that I will speak with him on the 13th. Do you know what my topic is on the home ward talk? My week was normal other than the fact that I'm 21 now and I wasn't the week before.
Talk to you later.
John.

I did pass my class. But I no longer have a 4.0 G.P.A. It was short lived. My 4.0. Just one semester. It felt nice, but a little strange. I like to think the "B" in my 4 credit class represents balanced or bully, as in "bully for you" instead of bad or boo (think Princess Bride).

The fact is, I am in a funk. I haven't felt like I could blog in my present state of funkiness but now I have determined that it may be a potential cure, a shot in the arm or the behind, so to speak. I'm going give it a try.

Yes, I know. I have failed in my daily blogging attempt but I believe that repentance in the form of an occassional double dose of blogging can be applied in this situation. I'll make up for the days that I missed. Eventually.

 Aside from not quite finishing that blasted, never-ending IOP that was due tonight (I need to talk to database support as soon as they open in the morning), and being "under the weather," Mother's Day was very nice.  My children and husband showered me with love, books, poetry, flowers, handmade cards, storebought cards, and served me a lovely lunch. I was also acknowledged for my motherliness in a blog (thanks Nicole) and a text and a phone call (Johnathon). I feel undeserving but enjoyed the accolades none the less.


I did not, however, return the love to the motherly women in my life, so tomorrow, promptly upon finishing up that dreaded IOP, I will belatedly wish much happiness to those who I neglected today.

Be Still

My future son-in-law is reading Jane Eyre, a particular favorite of mine, although it has been several years since I've read it. That is one that would be worth rereading, again, which would be rerereading. He wondered if people really conversed like that back then. I think they did. I think that they spent a lot more time talking to each other. I think they had more time. Ironic because now, with all of our time saving inventions we seem to have less time. Obviously, I am generalizing. I am sure there were many people in the 1800's who went through life without any meaningful conversation. But, they didn't really know better. We do. We just have so many distractions. We are all busy. I don't think that a meaningful conversation has to take hours but it does require focus and active listening. My friend, Kathy Evans, majored in the home and family sciences. I remember her talking about how some of the best conversations can occur when a parent and a child wash dishes together. Both people are stationed in one area and focusing on a task that leaves mental awareness available for communication between the two workers. Some types of yard work accomodate this sort of conversation as well.
Be still. What a concept. It is a requirement for relationships with deity, families, friends, neighbors, and self. People who know how to  "be still" stand out. It is almost like time stops or slows down around them even when they are moving fast.

I'll try to remember. Maybe a tattoo...no, probably not.

What words can be used to describe 16?

Sweet,

Silly,

Sad,

Scary,

Smart,

Simple,

Sydnee

Traveling

Drove home from Arizona today.
It was a great visit and a great trip back.
I do love a good road trip.
My brother, Grant, who I was traveling with likes to take the scenic route. So do I.
If you have never taken the cutoff through Johnson Canyon before, you should.
It goes through the town of Alton, Utah.
My niece, Hannah was thrilled beyond measure to discover that at the Subway in Panquitch the girl who made our sandwiches tessellates the cheese.
Much happiness all around.
Grant took lots of great pictures. Unfortunately they are all on his camera.

Another Johnathon Update

This weeks letter--

Mom

I'm going to call at 3:30 your time 2:30 here. Last phone call. I went tracting in a sandstorm yesterday that's probably the funnest thing this week so far. That sandstorm was nuts. Other than that I'm taking care of myself. My comp has just about talked me into taking Kung fu when I get back. Walters is good kid. I like him. Talk to you Sunday.

John

(Photo taken May 28, 2008--Just yesterday)

LAST WEEK'S LETTER

Today is my 23 months day. Wo dude! Thats crazy. Yesterday I bore my dying testimony in zone conference which is why I didn't email but it was a narly experience for me. The bike I came out with broke like a year ago. It basically blew up, so I'm not bringing home a bike. We're teaching some nice people and some crazies, mostly trying to get the ward members to help us out. Someone in particular we're teaching is Teresa Huckaby a nice lady, 73 years old.  I think she is our top progressing investigator at the moment. Well, I'll talk to you later.
Love,
John.

Graduation

I loved BYU. I knew from the time I was 7 years old that I wanted to grow up and go to BYU. At that point my motivation was the fact that my cousin, the person I adored most in the world, Carla, went to BYU. My family started going to BYU every summer from 1975 to around 1980 or 81. We would stay in Heritage Halls during the summer semester. We had great times and it further instilled in me the desire to attend and graduate from BYU. I never considered any other University. I mean, I knew there were other schools, my dad was a professor at a junior college in Arizona, I could have gone there for free, but my heart was set on BYU. Eventually I did attend and graduate from BYU. It was good. All three of my siblings graduated from there too. I still love BYU...Occassionally I go back to campus for various reasons, it feels like going home again. I thought my children would end up going there as well.

When child #1 was deciding which school to go to she was invited down to SUU. So we went down to tour the campus and talk to some of the professors. I came away from that totally convinced that SUU would be the perfect place for her to go. She did too. Matt Nickerson is the advisor over the Honors program at SUU. He is a brilliant educator and atleast 50% of the reason I was rooting for SUU.

Today she got a high 5 and a photo with him. That was worth every single trip to and from Cedar City, even the trip that included my first speeding ticket in 25 years. The motto of the SUU Honors Program is "Got Passion?" The world needs more people like Nickerson, people with passion for what they do and with a passion for passing it on to others. I'm glad to say that Samantha caught it. Look out, she's a carrier.

A Place of Her Own

Tonight I am in Cedar City. I had the chance to observe child #1 interact with some of the people she has worked with and learned from for the last 4 years.  Also today, I read her honors thesis. In it she compares her growth as a writer to her growth as student and person. I realized as I observed her and read what she wrote that she had found a place where she belonged. She had made a life for herself and it was good. Coming of age, finding herself, coming into her own. Whatever it is called, she accomplished it and now she is ready to move on and do it again. But wherever she goes now she'll always take the feeling of belonging with her because it isn't a place it's a state of being.

IOP re-revisited

Still
    working
                on
                      it.

IOP again

I know that BYU and SUU and UVU are all having finals and finishing up this week but UNT is still going strong for another 2 weeks. Tonight I took a quiz and I've been working on that marvelous, magical, magnificent IOP again. Preliminary draft 4 is due tomorrow night. Wish me luck, again. Thanks.

(This blog post should be read with a slight edge to your voice, you know, the "Huh, isn't life just great, I'm just barely hanging on, please don't step on my fingers, ouch that hurts, tone of voice" that is generally reserved for when your house is disaster and company drops in unexpectedly, or you run into your old boyfriend in Albertsons when you are looking particularly pathetic, or your child just said or did something very embarrassing in front of a large group of unsympathetic people. I could go on, but I won't because, you see, I have this IOP due.....)

Day 82

82 days of blogging in a row!
Only 283 days left to go.

FABP

The Flowering Almond Bush was in bloom today so we attempted the annual  Flowering Almond Bush Photo aka FABP. We experienced a little miracle that Samantha happened to be here this weekend, unexpectedly. So it looked like we would have everyone present, with the exception of Elder Gay who is occupied on the Lord's errand in Washington State which is an acceptable excuse for missing the yearly event.

We have started initiation procedures for the fiance. We explained the importance of being available around this time of the year, every year for "the photo session". He seemed a little startled at the prospect. Actually, I am not sure how to proceed with this tradition. Should I try to make everyone return annually as my progeny grows or should I just exact it as a price paid by those living at home at the time and all others are excused?

Over the years we have had guest appearances in the FABP. We have had years where cousins, grandparents or friends were included if they were so blessed as to be present on the Sunday that the bush is in bloom.

Let's do a head count.

#1 plus her husband to be, "here" and "here"

#2 Johnathon (excused absence),

#3

*Conspicuous silence*

  Yep, we were missing one.

To #3's credit, I did tell her that #1 would be available until 4 or 5 but then #1 had to leave sooner than that.

(Some story about finals and wanting to study so she could do well...)

To #3's discredit, she had an unexcused absence on the day of the FABP, a very serious offense.

Any suggestions for a suitable punishment will be duly noted.

She was off exploring the beauties of nature and didn't return in time.

She certainly looks guilty but sort of repentant so I guess I'll let her off for good behavior, or something.

Here we are. Almost all present and accounted for.

Don't we look spectacular?

Happy Spring everyone!

Wow

After work today my mom and I drove to Provo to meet daughters 1 and 3 who were dress shopping. Wedding dress shopping.

Very exciting.

She found one, with able assistance from her little sister.
Wow!

It is beautiful.
She is beautiful in it.

After a wonderful dinner at Zupa's,

We left Samantha in Provo with her boyfriend fiance.

On the way home we were discussing events in the one-week-from-being-16-year old's life (daughter #3)

A recent negative encounter with her friend who is a boy has left her feeling angry and, dare I say, vengeful.

I was trying to suggest that it is generally best to err on the side of kindness when this poem popped into my head, just as my mom started to recite it outloud.

I have wept in the night

For the shortness of sight

that to somebody's need made me blind.

But I never have yet,

felt a tinge of regret

For being a little too kind

                             --Author Unknown

 Weird. (I must have learned it from my mom.)

But applicable.

I love it when I find out that I have something like this stored in my memory banks. It is my hope that if I go senile these are the sorts of things that I will say to my grandchildren when they come visit.

 I hope to be pleasant in my old age which is approaching rapidly as indicated by the fact that I have a child old enough to be out shopping for, and successfully selecting a wedding dress.
Weird.

I do try to remember to err on the side of kindness, but I am not always successful.

So, I'll keep working on it, and for those of you who have felt my lack of kindness from time to time, I apologize.
Unless, of course, you deserved it.

Nothing

There is nothing.

No words.

I'm not sad

or depressed.

Just tired

All of my words are being used for other things.

Maybe I will find some more tomorrow, at the library.

There are lots of words there.

I'll bring some home to post with.

If I remember.

And if there is room in my brain

or my heart

or my bookbag to carry them here to my blog.

A motto

Let's make better mistakes tomorrow.
                              Sarah Skousen Tippetts

I am unashamedly stealing tonight's quote from my little sister's blog. http://nestexploredesign.blogspot.com/ She actually has two blogs. One is her family blog and the other is her design blog where she highlights her work and/or design ideas she likes. It is brilliant, because she is brilliant and amazing.

I love this quote because it gives permission to mess up. In fact, it doesn't just give permission, it encourages and supports error. I love it. I think I might make a sampler or a throw pillow or something with it. Maybe it will be our homeschool motto. I've been trying to come up with one for about 15 years now. I'm not proud. My sister can be responsible for my motto. She named my blog for me too.
This quote makes me thing I should revel in the mistakes of today and I need that. I tend to review things in my head and beat myself up for things I wish I had done differently throughout the day, week, year(s), life.

Let's make better mistakes tomorrow.

Yes, let's.